Oh, boy, where do I begin? I'll start with that I've been struggling with this past LONG while! Can you guess? Discipline! Who can tell me the importance of discipline? What must I do to learn it? Must a great calamity fall upon me so I get the drift? God forbid, but let me learn an easier way! But how can I teach it to myself? Let me explain what I mean by discipline! Eating is one of them. Our body is supposed to be subject to us, not us to it. So I should teach it that it does not get whatever it wants, when it wants it, right? Why is it that I have a huge problem with that? It seems like I cannot stand it when my stomach is growling, I just have to eat! But sometimes it should not be hungry, it just thinks it is! Why can't I ignore it and not eat? The other huge thing is bedtime. It's only gotten worse this past while and I'm so annoyed with myself. I know that our body is the temple of the Holy God and as a Christian, it is my duty to take as best care of it as I possibly can. So why can't I hike off to bed when it's time and my body is saying it's tired? It's like I'm possessed with an insane urge to finish certain things first and night after night after night it gets way too late for a girl like me to be up! It'd be one thing if I'd be up that late praying. But no, that's the sad thing, I get into bed and it's so very late and I just crash, I don't have time to say much of a prayer, just a short one for a few of my favorite people. GRRR! But if I go to bed without geting certain things done, I'd probably lie there and not be able to sleep because I know that work is still waiting to get done. Oh, can someone help me discipline myself. I don't want to get mono or some other sickness, if I do I will be so sorry that I did not take better care of my body. Maybe I should be accountable to someone. Sigh, but that's a bother too! Oh, and excercise is another fault of mine. It's not a first priority, and how do I make it one? I need to burn more calories but I will be honest and say I just really don't enjoy exercising. It's just not very fun and there's oh, so much other stuff to do that is more appealing. Can someone scare me or convict me or something so that I put my priorities on the right place and use self discipline before God takes it into His hands!
Okay, the other thing is talents. I am so inspired today, being at Uncle Dick's memorial. He was such a wonderful man. If I live to be 79, will others be able to say as many good things about me as they did about him? He was talented in so many things. The list is just long. But, he used every one of his talents, he milked em for all they were worth. I feel so little and useless compared to him. He would not want me to feel that way at all, I know that. He would hate that. But at the rate I'm going right now, what will I have to show for my life by the time I'm 79? What do I have to show for being 27? Have I used the talents that God gave me to their fullest or am I just floating along with the breeze, enjoying what happens to come my way? Am I grumbling that I don't have more talents or that I don't have the talents that I wish I had? There was not a lazy bone in Dick's body. He worked like an animal, yet somehow he had time for all his friends. I am a workaholic, but I don't always take time for my friends, and that's scary because friends do not stay friends if you do not nurture relationships. I tend to spend time with them when it suits me best, and if they call and I have other things planned I say no. I don't think Dick was that way at all, if someone wanted to visit him I believe he dropped his things and spent time with them. I know I have writing talent and I do use that, but I don't think I'm using it as much as I could be. I don't know, I'm just feeling pretty small right now and wondering where to even start! I just really have not done as much for others as I wish I would have by now. How can I know when it's time to just let my work sit and go make some old lady's day by visiting her, or let my work sit and go help a busy mom who's in despair with her workload? I have the ability to go farther in school. Why didn't I? I loved school and I could have gone to college. But I didn't want to spend the money, I wanted to earn money instead. Was I selfish? But do you have to do everything you are capable of doing just because you have the capability to do it? No! LOL! I know that much! I guess I just need to get prayed up some more and ask Jesus to show me where I am not using my talents to the fullest and to help me be in the center of His will, not just on the outskirts!
Does anyone else struggle with any of these things? Am I alone? No, I won't believe I'm alone! The devil likes to isolate people in their problems, but that strategy doesn't work with me because I know better. If no one leaves comments then I will know you all are just not admitting to anything:):):)
Sometime I have some other questions that I want folks to answer on but right now this is enough. I want to hear your advice and suggestions on this first! So, now your job is to let me know what you think!!!!!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment